what? me??...LOL

*sigh*...
somehow  i feel like this is the only best place where i can really actually express my feelings..

my anger
my disappointment
my sadness
my happiness
my hobby
what i likes
and what i dont likes...

because no one actually reads it anyway~ 


= w =''

LOL.. hhahahaha

well you see.. i dont really know how to express myself in front of others...
its just that i feel that people are easy to misunderstand me when the're with me..

okay.. it is undoubtedly that i am a very straight forward person..
well, i speaks my mind... but its just me...

to tell the truth, after i said anything, i never actually remember what i said...
you know.. like when i accidently  said things that make people hate me...
i dont remember them.. every day is a new day you see... hehehe

or maybe when i accidently raise my loud voice...
to tell the truth... about raising the voice..
every time i raise my voice, i feel like i want people to here me... bcoz, i was raise in an empty house when i was little... i was alone... my dad passed away when i was 7.. and since then, my mum was always busy with her work... it was lonely... so every time im in a crowd, i feel like if i raise my voice, people will notice me...
SO PLEASE DONT HATE ME BECAUSE MY VOICE IS LOUD...

i know that im hard headed, hot- blooded, short tempered, careless in every way and very clumsy too..
^
^
^
all negative things :'(


but im not really a hateful person right??? or i am one??? OMG!!!
i'll just stop here.. k bye..

Money???!!

*sigh*
aku benci betul lah!!! kenapa lah orang dulu2 cipta duit?? sistem barter je x cukup ke??

korang nak tahu x kenapa aku benci duit ni??? sebab...

AKU DAH FED UP TENGOK ORANG BERGADUH SEBAB DUIT!


aku rasa cam nak mencarut la.. serius!
aku tahu zaman sekarang ni duit tu penting kalau nak hidup..
tapi kenapa manusia ni senang2 je buta dengan duit???
aku x suka...

ok.. tipu kalau aku cakap aku x suka duit...
tapi aku benci kalau sebab duit,

adik beradik jadi renggang..
kawan jadi gaduh..

BODOH LAH!!! duit tu tak bawak mati pun la!!!
ok jujur aku cakap sebab aku rasa sekarang ni aku cam dingin ngan best friend aku sbb duit!

kalau aku ada banyak duit, aku x kan mintak duit dari sesiapa lah!!!!!!!

aku x kan susah2 nak penatkan otak aku fikir, siapa salah.. and siapa yang perlu bayar!!!
AKU AKAN TERUS BAYAR SENDIRI!! kau paham x?
sebab aku malas nak gaduh sebab DUIT!
tapi masalahnya sekarang ni, aku x de duit!!!! sebab aku x de duit, aku kena buat keputusan... siapa yang salah.. sebab siapa yang salah kena bayar denda tu.. PAHAM X???

dulu, masa laptop kau retak, kau surh aku bayar RM 350... aku bayar kot (walau pun x habis lagi - bayar ansur2)
padahal, benda tu salah kau...
siapa suruh kau letak lappy kau kat lantai masa kat loker library (dah la laluan kat loker tu sempit)??
memang x pernah dibuat orang!!! letak lappy kat lantai tu...
tapi sebab aku rasa bersalah, AND AKU MALAS NAK GADUH!! sbb aku dah terlanggar lappy kau MASA KAU LETAK KAT LANTAI.. aku bayar... tanpa sebarang kompromi...

lapas tu bila tiba turn kau...
kau letak kereta aku kat tempat yang memang confirm akan kena saman lapas kau dah guna kenapa????
kalau kau x guna kereta aku, and aku kena saman, x pe... mmg salah aku... esok tu abang aku boleh senang2 je datang and bagi duit untuk aku bayar saman tu...
tapi sekarang ni kau dah guna kereta tu... lepas tu kau park kat situ pulak... then kereta aku kena saman...
>>> sebab tu abang aku x nak hantar duit kat aku... sbb, die kata tu salah kau...

kau ingat tak masa aku kata yang tu salah kau.... then kau kata kat aku yang tu bukan salah kau sebab kalau kau x guna kereta tu, kereta aku tetap akan kena saman....

aku cerita la kat abang aku... pas tu kau tau x apa abang aku tanya aku???
dia tanya:

abang : kalau budak tu boleh cakap macam tu kat kau masa kau mintak duit, kanapa dulu masa lappy die rosak, kau x cakap cmtu kat dia??? kau cakap la yang tu bukan salah kau sebab dia yang letak lappy die kat lantai... orang lain x pernah buat camtu kot (letak lappy kat lantai - refer pada cerita kat atas tadi...)


aku: (speechless) orang malas nak gaduh la... lagi pun orang mmg rasa bersalah... bayar je la... die tahu kan.. orang malas nak gduh sebab duit... x berbaloi!


kenapa reaksi kitaorang (aku - ngan kawan aku tu) x sama...

aku rasa bersalah - bayar je.. malas nak pikir bapa byk pon.. yang penting tu duit aku.. aku x nak libatkan mak aku...

dia rasa bersalah - izzah.. nanti i bayar separuh... i boleh bayar separuh je.. sebab its not my fault.. (padahal RM 50 je pun...)

AKU X PAHAM BETUL...
please let me rest...*sigh*


p/s: bagi aku nilai persahabatan kita lagi mahal... up to you what to say coz i know you are still my good friend.

my artwork #1

LOLOL~ please don't laugh at me for this piece of work.. (>o<'')

i know its amateur... but just please here this~ ngeeee...

bird fly up in the sky

i look in despair as i am not them

to fly is something that is so far from my reach

soaring cannot be my desire

but i made s decision to leave.

the differences makes me believe

that this is not where i should be

as there is somewhere else out there

where i think i suppose to be

to be to a place where i belong

a place i call home..

there.. i hope you guys can comment 

and give me some of your opinion.. 

THANKS~ xD

What would you feel???

Okay. i admit that i post this entry because i'm not satisfied with a certain someone..

first of all, i wanna ask you this question..

have you ever heard that someone that you can barely know their name talk about you in your back??

well, that incident actually happen to me and i just know about it tonight!

actually, there's this girl.. 

she's in the same course as me.. 

just different classes.. 

shes in class X and i'm in class Z..

i actually heard that she talks about me from my high school BFF..

who actually is her friend's room mate..

so she tell me almost everything.. 

THE PROBLEM HERE IS...

1. i don't know her

2. i barely know her name

3. i just happen to know her face because my university's BFF talks about her and show me her face..

4. i NEVER talk to her.. EVER!

5. we have nothing to do with one another! 

6. we're even in a different classes!

SERIOUSLY! whats her problem???

she argue how i could get 3 pointer something when i don't even study..

plus my commitment with my debate club..
and she says that there's no way i could get 3 pointer..

WTF??? im not even listed in the dean list like her! why would she even care about my pointer? right? her pointer is MUCH MUCH better than mine..
so whats her problem with me??
how did she even know that didn't study whatsoever???

I DO STUDY OKAY!!!

she doesn't even know me!!

oh.. just go eat shit and die lah girl! 

people like you are crazy!


*YES! I AM FURIOUS RIGHT NOW!!!*

New Face~✿

like usual. every year, i will change my blog layout...
enjoy it.. and if you guys think that there's something or anything i need to improve, just comment.. kay?
bye~

provoke

why is it when i try to prevent myself from hurting someone else's feeling,
they provoke me to do so??? why?

what would u think about this dialog in facebook:-

me: nasib tidak menyebelahi kami... mungkin ini bukan masanya lagi untuk kami... UiTM Shah Alam B telah memenangi perdebatan ini dengan margin 1, usul diterima 3 per 2 dewan.. pendebat terbaik ialah abang Mohd Afiem Yahya. Tahniah buat UiTM Melaka.. walaupun x dapat mara sehingga final, namun semua orang yang terlibat telah bersama-sama berusaha untuk mencapai pencapaian sejauh ni... Tahniah sekali lagi buat UiTM Melaka.

him:  ‎Nurul Izzah, kelas ayat kau yg ni..." nasib tidak menyebelahi kami"....owh lupeeerrrr.... kau kan pendebat mega....ahakz! kerja kau, tido komik cheezy wedges 2 siap extra cheese 2...terosss pendebat mega uolsss...meks x mampu...

i seriously don't know how to reply to that so i just keep quiet...

afraid

afraid.
somehow these feeling always chasing me lately.
i dont know why but i really do feel that i've been living in my fear lately..

the first reason why i feel this way is because i feel that if i just act like my usual talkative self,
i might hurt someone feeling...
my tone when i talk to people is always wrong..
and this always makes people misunderstand me
and i dont want to repeat the same mistake twice!

besides, my selfishness is also the reason why i act like this...
all i wish is that no one will be hurt because of me...
especially in this club.. i really love this club..
if its not because of this club, i would never be able to be who i used to be now..
i dont want the member of this club to hate me more...
coz i really2 want to stay in this club..

that is the reason why i choose to isolate myself for the best...
if i did that, i could never hurt anyone's feeling..
i think..
i hope that i'm right..

I HOPE YOU GUYS UNDERSTAND...

i really really love you guys...  :'(

Latihan Debat di Shah Alam

VANUE : UiTM Shah Alam

DAY      : Friday - Tuesday

DATE    : 19/8/2011 - 23/8/2011

TIME     : Sesi Pagi ~ 11am - 5pm

             Sesi Ptg  ~ 10pm - 6am

I dont have many comment.. its just..

I have so much fun here...

cuma x de banyak masa nak study lah... 

tapi boleh curi masa lg lah..<3

Don't mention about the quizzes yang I have to take this wednesday lah kan. hahaha..  

PORNOGRAPHY

what the lah kan..
haha
we have a speaking test 30 minutes from now..
and im searching about pornography..
the WAYS TO OVERCOME IT of course...
but then, why is it when we want to search pornography, its all there. and FREE.
but when it comes to WAYS TO OVERCOME IT or ITS DISADVANTAGE,
we need to PAY for the information!!

THIS SUCKS!

Friendship

In UiTM now i have a very close friend that i can call my bestfriend.
somehow, we always walk together because for some reason, we get into the same class,
get into the sme group in KOKU and our room, are just in front of each other's room..
lucky right? haha.. thats what i thought too...

she's a sweet girl...
she understands people, warm, caring, supportive, responsible, and deligent.
she have this hobby of learning about psycology and characteristic of people based on their horoscope, birth and others...
it good since she understand me and others...
but somehow i feel like my existance in my other friends heart are merely because of her...
if its not because of her, i'm just a nobody...
who is hated by everybody...

my problem is not with her. instead, my problems are with myself...
why is everything that i do seems wrong to her?
why?
i'm born to be a second child in my family..
based on the spycology research, a second child is very rebellious.
so there's a lot of negative charcteristics i suppose to have naturally...
its true, i have a lot of negative characteristics..

im loud, rushing, insensitive, selfish, talkative, hard headed, rude, proud, and many more that i dont even wanna say here..

it seems to me like she do not like and not comfortable with me whenever we are together alone..
she talk less with me.. and she gets angry fast... and when she's angry, she went silent and her face change into an emotionless face. i dislike that so much...
as a friend, all i want is to see my friends smile... but when i realize that i am the reason for her to sulk..
i feel bad.
i feel like i wanna avoid her.. because she looks happy that way...

i have this habit off mine too..
i always say that i hate them if i love them.. haha..
my mom, brother, and even her..
when i talk, it'll end up like "haha.. benci (name) !"
and lately, i've always talk like that to her..
so people always misunderstand me...
i hate myself for not being honest to my own self..

i'm sorry if i suddently back away from her since from what i see,
she already comfortable with some other friend of mine..

with love from deep dowm of my heart, izzah.