DUGAAN DAN CABARAN..

6 hari (x termasuk sabtu & ahad) aku duduk kat u sem ni,
rasa macam dah sebulan lebih..
setiap detik dan saat tu rasa lama.. kecuali masa nak buat presentation.

ha?! presentation? bukan baru 6 hari ke kelas start?

yup.. aku dapat assignment pertama aku pada hari pertama kelas aku..
tadi aku present BEL 312..
besok pagi kol 8.30am, aku present PAD 310 pulak.

tapi bukan tu yang aku nak cerita..
aku nak cerita pasal cabaran2 yang jadi pada aku..
tuhan nak uji kita, macam2..
aku cuba untuk menerima dugaan tu dengan pasrah...
tapi sebab satu dugaan yang aku x boleh terima;
dugaan yang terjadi sebelum u start haritu..
kahidupan aku kat u sem ni rasa hambar giler!
relationship aku dengan kawan2 aku rasa cm dah teruk sikit sbb attitude aku..

My waist hurt!!

Today, my body is in the worst condition ever!
Why? Because my waist hurt like hell! Seriously..
I feel like a granny with a hurt waist right now..
Wanna know why it hurt?
Because yesterday I have tu bend for like countless of time in order to arrange the packages that have been pack by my cousins for our next catering...
We have to pack for 4000 pack of paper bag that contain of an apple, gardenia bread and water.
And I have to arrange all of them...

This is the very reason why my waist ache.. 

To bend and take the paper bags so that I can arrange them..

Well, you can say I am the one who arrange ALL of this ALONE....
Overall is 2,300 packages..
Ahhh.. My waist hurt...

xoxo
me

Judgemental

Judgemental = characterized by a tendency to judge harshly (MWebster Online) 

Sometime, I am amaze by the ability of our society in judging others.

I don't know either they are too perfect or what. 

But the way I see it, there is always a reason behind every actions.

A person cannot just explode and start to curse if there is nothing to curse about (unless if you're drunk). 

A girl didn't just born and became a lesbians.

A boy didn't just turn into a 'woman' right after they are born (unless if khunsa).

For example,

Situation 1 : Obesity

A : You must have eaten a lot right?

B : No I did not.

A : Then why is your stomach get so big? is it because of bloating?

B : No.. it is not bloating..

A : Hmmmph! This must be because you take bribe.. bribery is 'haram'! and living with that kind of money can make you FAT!

B : No I am not! I am pregnant.. and you are going to be a father.

A : O_O
(This example is taken from matluthfi90's vlog on YouTube)

Well, see?

There is always a reason behind every action and situation. 

That is why we shouldn't judge people because of who they are.

What is worst about our society is, 

that when these people want to turn good,

these judgemental people, never give them a chance!

They keep on criticizing these people in everything they do..

For example :
A : I am so sorry for what I have done before.. I know I am bad.. But I want to change..

B : Eh? weird.. You don't have to pretend to be good!!! We know who you are! you are a bitch! And a bitch will always be a bitch! Go to hell bitch!

.....

Sort of like that.

This is what I meant by not giving them chance to change.

Our society will keep on judging till the very end 

and because of those words, 

these people always think that it is no use for them to turn into a new leave.

Well, I am not perfect myself.. Nobody is..

but that is not the point.

If these problematic people try to change,

we should encourage them!

and not to judge them and discourage them. 

Maybe at first, they are not serious in changing..

But if we encourage them,

maybe they could have change for real.

We don't know.

So please, try.

xoxo

me

Sorry~

Because of my own laziness, in the end,
my blog page become a neko (cat) page with the pitter-patter of cat paws on it..
I am so sorry if you don't like it..

well, it my blog..
so who cares?
nobody read it anyway~
huhu

xoxo
me

WHAT HAVE I DONE???!!!

I am so sorry!!
what have i done to you my blog???
i did not intend for the layout to change like that..
why didn't i make a backup beforehand??

tomorrow is waiting for me..
i'll try to fix you tomorrow..
ok?

xoxo
me

The Irony in Friendship~

Sometime, when we lost something,
it means that we are going to receive something even more than what we lost.
but it only happen SOMETIMES... :)

you know, during the three semester of my life in UiTM Alor Gajah, Melaka,
a lot of things happens..
things that we wish to happen.. also things that we want to avoid..
but things happen..
and we cannot take back the things that have been done..

I lost a friend.. you know..
but who knows that after all that painful moment...
I met even more friends..
that I can really call friends..
those who are really there when I am in a pinch
and also when I am in my crazy, happy mode! :)

well, if you are not sincere to be with someone,
somehow your true colour will eventually appear..

lastly, I just want to say..
appreciate your friends and love them for who they are..
because if you can accept them for who they are..
they will accept you back for who you are! :)

don't expect them to accept you for who you are
when you keep on complaining about what you dislike in them.
if you do,
you, eventually, will be abandoned by them....
slowly...
one by one will leave you..
and when you realize it,
you have already moved from one clique to another..
trying to find someone who will accept you in their clique.

oh.. the irony...
I hope you are happy with the way you live now..

THE GIFT

i dont know why im feeling all emotional today... but i really am sorry to my friends if you get scolded by me last night... hahaha today is awin's birthday and we really did throw flour and eggs to her... hahaha but she also receive a lot of gifts last night.. hahaha check out her blog yourself~

AWIN'S BLOG

Btw, I wanna say sorry to my friends b'coz at that night, I don't know what has got into me... I was so moody that night especially to Atin.. hahaha orang paling teruk kena marah! LOL

love you guys so much! Dot, Atin, Awin~ ♥

Merdekakah Kita?

Semalam aku pergi tengok sambutan merdeka kat Dataran Pahlawan, Melaka.
fuh.. first time sambut merdeka macam tu selain dalam Dewan Budiman sekolah aku...
Memang BEST lah kan~ GEMPAK HABIS!

aku pergi 2 orang je.. ngan kawan aku Cyidot!
walaupun kesihatan aku x berapa sihat, aku pergi jugak! sbb aku x pernah sambut merdeka macam tu.. ;p

tapi lepas majlis sambutan dengan bunga api dah habis, semua orang balik...
majlis x habis lagi.. sbb dieorang ada nak sambut b'day budak2 yang lahir 31 ogos.. tapi padang dah kosong..

aku terfikir sekejap time tu... 

apa maksud merdeka bagi kita rakyat Malaysia ni?
adakah dengan buat count down, bakar bunga api, itu merdeka?
lepas tu, bendera Malaysia yang semangat dikibarkan masa letupan bunga api,
bersepah-sepah kat atas tanah...
BENDERA KEBANGSAAN KITA TU!!! WHAT HAPPEN TO MERDEKA???
buang macam tu je???

paling tak boleh belah, ada pulak mereka-mereka ni buat bersih time orang nak sambut merdeka...
nak tegakkan hak melalui bersih boleh.. tapi kenapa masa sambutan merdeka?
kau ingat orang yang sambut merdeka ni semua pro politik ke???
buat la time lain... budak kecik, bayi semua ada.. x ke bahaya kalau dieorang ni tersepit dalam kelompok korang?
korang nak apa buat bersih time merdeka??
nak bersihkan padang yang penuh ngan sampah sarap ni ke?
kenapa padang kotor je aku tgk
so..

 MERDEKAH KITA??

aku rasa sedih..
sebab walaupun dah 55 tahun merdeka, pemikiran rakyat Malaysia, masih di tahap yang ke-3.
lansung x de semangat nak menghargai perjuangan pahlawan-pahlawan negara yang berusaha nak memerdekakan negara ni..

apa yang masih ada, mentaliti masyarakat yang x merdeka dan hanya mahukan hiburan...

renungkanlah...

*dari anak merdeka yang sangat bersemangat nak menyambut merdeka*

DREAMS~

lately, i've been reading this manga titled BAKUMAN and it really makes me feel like i wanna be a comic editor.. haha

since i really like to read any comics i really feels like if i can be a comic editor, i can read a lot of good manga... especially if i'm a WEEKLY SHONEN JUMP editor.. i dont mind reading any genre if its comic.. but shonen is my favourite.. haha.. anyway.. ONE PIECE, NARUTO, BLEACH, BEELZEBUB, NURARIHYON NO MAGO, ORESAMA TEACHER are all shonen manga... and i really love them~

anyway, if you wanna synopsis about BAKUMAN, i am more than glad to tell you...

at first the story is just about a couple of boys who collaborate in order to write a manga.. one of them is the author (who writes the story), shuujin, and the other one is the artist (the one who draws), saikou.. the artist is in a love with the hottest girl in school, miho and that girl too is in love with him.. but they never really talk to each other... haha sweet if you ask me.. miho actually wanna become a voice actress..

after their graduation at junior high, shuujin take saikou to miho's house and at that time, she just arrive at her house and bout to enter until shuujin stops her.! then he said that saikou has some thing to say to her... at that time, of course saikou is nervous and he randomly ask her whether she really wanna be a voice actress despite the fact that she is a very shy person and she say yes~ they he said that he wanna be a mangaka.. when miho heard that, she promise that she will be a voice actor so that she can be in his anime..  then out of the blue, saikou say this "so when our dreams come true.. will you marry me?" wahahaha!!! i laugh at that!!! coz its so funny... they promise that they wont meet and just exchange the e-mail.. u see.. the story is fun.. but of course its not just that... they somehow manage to get their manga serialize.. he met a lot of other mangaka and become friends and rivals too...

but suddenly saiko get sick and need to have an operation and because of some tragedy that happen to saikou's uncle.. his manga was put into hiatus even when he is so against it...  then all of his friend decide to stop sending their manuscript so that the order to put saikou's manga to hiatus will be remove..

its fun.. and the're also a lot of ups and down in it especially when their manga was cancel because they cant get enough votes...

its fun...

and reading about how they describe about editor's work... some how i really feel that i could be happy while working if i can be editor... hehehe...

LOVE...?

haha do i have love problems lately???

i dont think so...

so why is there a lot of love updates on my facebook??

haha... i dont know myself...

what i know is it sadden me to see a girl with hijab to date with some guy 

holding hands... whats the point of hiding your hair if you give the guy other things that is far more important about you to the guy???

these days, i have this habit of observing people... 

i like to go to secluded area and search for couples... 

i saw a lot of couples.. from the one who are free hair...

to the couple who you can say "using ALLAH as a reason for loving"

whats the point of wearing hijab if you kiss?

whats the point of wearing long shirt if you hugged?

whats the point of wearing arm socks if you touch hands???

for those who did more than this...

think again.. why did you love him/her...

IS IT REALLY BECAUSE OF ALLAH??

OR IS IT JUST BECAUSE OF LUST?

please think about it... AND PLEASE STOP USING ALLAH AS A COVER FOR YOUR LUST!!!!

sesungguhnya, seorang perempuan itu tidah harus lah merendah- rendahkan maruhnya kerana seorang lelaki  kerana maruah seorang perempuan itu tidak boleh di cari ganti...

SUCKER FOR WORDS?.............and a confession???!!!

hahaha...
somehow i just realise that i am a sukker for words...
people just keep on misunderstanding my intentions..
hahaha

whatever~ only those who know me
understands me... hehehehe.. right rara???
somehow no matter how many bestfriend i have,
i still have to search for you when i want to express my feelings..
happy, troubled, sad...
haha..

is it because i know that you know me best?

but i'm wondering whether you think the same about me rara~
i hope you do coz if you do not,
its quite embarrassing for me.. hahaha

like the unrequited love see?
hahhaha
its embarrassing!

OH GOD! this sounds like a confession!
i can't even help her to fix up her blog because of my work..
sorry honey~
nanti ek..
when i'm free~ hehehehe

my first day working experience~

today is my first day trying to earn money rather than asking money from my mother...

i work as a cashier..
of course.. on the first day, im not allowed to use the computer...
but i still learn a bit about it~ <3
but mainly today, i just learn how to separate stuff.. the fresh stuff, dry stuff, soaps, stationery...
ALL THE STUFFS 

i came at 9.30, like i was instructed
and i begin to fill in more form of admission when i realize that i still dont have my kwsp.. LOL
gotta have one fast! its important!
at that time, i was with this one boy named anis. he have to fill in the form together with me...
when i already dome with mine, we have too read this rules & regulations..
i finished reading it like FOREVER and wait for him like FOREVER!!!
FUCK HIM LA...
HE IS SO DAMN SLOW!
he saw me waiting for him since we wont get to listen to the briefing until he is finish!
yet he just take HIS DAMN TIME to read that thing...

after some time, the officer ask him.. are you done?
and he answer.. "ah? oh.. wait.. wait.."
and i happen to see that the officer say something without making a sound..
i read her lips : "LEMBABNYA" hah! even she says that! i said in my heart..
you imagine... i wait for him for almost 1 hour!!!! EVEN A GHOST COULD GET BORED!!
by the time he finish, its already 11.15am!

then we start with the briefing...
they tell us EVERYTHING!!
even the FREAKING HISTORY OF MYDIN~
the briefing finish at 12.45.  the human resources officer then introduce us to the inventory staff..
then by the time she want to introduce us to our head of department, its already 1.00pm which is the rest time..
and I FUCKING BLAME THAT DAMN SLOW BOY!!
if its not for him, we would have start much more earlier... WHATEVES~

after that, i meet quite a lot of people there...
they're all so friendly... i love them!
AND I PROMISE TO DO MY BEST WHILE I'M THERE~
wish me luck
even though i know that i have to create my own luck :)

✿ acceptance :) ✿

what do you think? i made it mysef~

please give me your opinion XD

My opinion about acceptance :)

Conflict Solve~

sorry for my last posts~ at that time, im just too angry... this time, i wanna tell that i just make up with my friend..  i finally get to said the things that i wanna say to her... and im relieve... seriously... after that, she can accept the fact and she's actually wrong.. and she still wanna be my friend... i seriously though that shes gonna hate me after that.. but hey! she didnt! and i love her for that... i made a promise with her that i wont keep any of my frustration towards her to myself ever again.. so next time i will just said it straight on... so we're peace now.. you dont have to worry anymore.  for my friend who are always there during the conflict : syida, rara phea. atin, awin, dayah. thanks for listening to my stupid thoughts.. and all.. I LOVE U GUYS~<3

NEW BLOGGER IS COOL~

seriously! its cool..
first maybe bcoz i like orange...
and it looks much more arrange... neat.. i guess...
so its cool~
XD

QUESTION

JUST ONE QUESTION.

PLEASE ANSWER IT HONESTLY.

which kind of friend is a good friend?

a. a person who change us into a person towards her liking - in a good way lah

b. a person who accept us for who we are

PLEASE.

my artwork #2

REALITY?

what is reality?

a place where regions fight?

a place where people kills?

a place where friendship dies?

i don't know any more

why is reality have to be so cruel?

why reality have to be something so sad?

when it was suppose to be fill with love

we filled it with blood

stains

and tears.

why can't we just make the reality

a good thing?

why must we say that reality is hard?

when what happens in reality

is all depends on how we act???

please,

make me believe

that living in this reality is not that bad

if not,

please let me stay in my own world again

i feel much more safer that way

much more protected

much more secure.

END

what? me??...LOL

*sigh*...
somehow  i feel like this is the only best place where i can really actually express my feelings..

my anger
my disappointment
my sadness
my happiness
my hobby
what i likes
and what i dont likes...

because no one actually reads it anyway~ 


= w =''

LOL.. hhahahaha

well you see.. i dont really know how to express myself in front of others...
its just that i feel that people are easy to misunderstand me when the're with me..

okay.. it is undoubtedly that i am a very straight forward person..
well, i speaks my mind... but its just me...

to tell the truth, after i said anything, i never actually remember what i said...
you know.. like when i accidently  said things that make people hate me...
i dont remember them.. every day is a new day you see... hehehe

or maybe when i accidently raise my loud voice...
to tell the truth... about raising the voice..
every time i raise my voice, i feel like i want people to here me... bcoz, i was raise in an empty house when i was little... i was alone... my dad passed away when i was 7.. and since then, my mum was always busy with her work... it was lonely... so every time im in a crowd, i feel like if i raise my voice, people will notice me...
SO PLEASE DONT HATE ME BECAUSE MY VOICE IS LOUD...

i know that im hard headed, hot- blooded, short tempered, careless in every way and very clumsy too..
^
^
^
all negative things :'(


but im not really a hateful person right??? or i am one??? OMG!!!
i'll just stop here.. k bye..

Money???!!

*sigh*
aku benci betul lah!!! kenapa lah orang dulu2 cipta duit?? sistem barter je x cukup ke??

korang nak tahu x kenapa aku benci duit ni??? sebab...

AKU DAH FED UP TENGOK ORANG BERGADUH SEBAB DUIT!


aku rasa cam nak mencarut la.. serius!
aku tahu zaman sekarang ni duit tu penting kalau nak hidup..
tapi kenapa manusia ni senang2 je buta dengan duit???
aku x suka...

ok.. tipu kalau aku cakap aku x suka duit...
tapi aku benci kalau sebab duit,

adik beradik jadi renggang..
kawan jadi gaduh..

BODOH LAH!!! duit tu tak bawak mati pun la!!!
ok jujur aku cakap sebab aku rasa sekarang ni aku cam dingin ngan best friend aku sbb duit!

kalau aku ada banyak duit, aku x kan mintak duit dari sesiapa lah!!!!!!!

aku x kan susah2 nak penatkan otak aku fikir, siapa salah.. and siapa yang perlu bayar!!!
AKU AKAN TERUS BAYAR SENDIRI!! kau paham x?
sebab aku malas nak gaduh sebab DUIT!
tapi masalahnya sekarang ni, aku x de duit!!!! sebab aku x de duit, aku kena buat keputusan... siapa yang salah.. sebab siapa yang salah kena bayar denda tu.. PAHAM X???

dulu, masa laptop kau retak, kau surh aku bayar RM 350... aku bayar kot (walau pun x habis lagi - bayar ansur2)
padahal, benda tu salah kau...
siapa suruh kau letak lappy kau kat lantai masa kat loker library (dah la laluan kat loker tu sempit)??
memang x pernah dibuat orang!!! letak lappy kat lantai tu...
tapi sebab aku rasa bersalah, AND AKU MALAS NAK GADUH!! sbb aku dah terlanggar lappy kau MASA KAU LETAK KAT LANTAI.. aku bayar... tanpa sebarang kompromi...

lapas tu bila tiba turn kau...
kau letak kereta aku kat tempat yang memang confirm akan kena saman lapas kau dah guna kenapa????
kalau kau x guna kereta aku, and aku kena saman, x pe... mmg salah aku... esok tu abang aku boleh senang2 je datang and bagi duit untuk aku bayar saman tu...
tapi sekarang ni kau dah guna kereta tu... lepas tu kau park kat situ pulak... then kereta aku kena saman...
>>> sebab tu abang aku x nak hantar duit kat aku... sbb, die kata tu salah kau...

kau ingat tak masa aku kata yang tu salah kau.... then kau kata kat aku yang tu bukan salah kau sebab kalau kau x guna kereta tu, kereta aku tetap akan kena saman....

aku cerita la kat abang aku... pas tu kau tau x apa abang aku tanya aku???
dia tanya:

abang : kalau budak tu boleh cakap macam tu kat kau masa kau mintak duit, kanapa dulu masa lappy die rosak, kau x cakap cmtu kat dia??? kau cakap la yang tu bukan salah kau sebab dia yang letak lappy die kat lantai... orang lain x pernah buat camtu kot (letak lappy kat lantai - refer pada cerita kat atas tadi...)


aku: (speechless) orang malas nak gaduh la... lagi pun orang mmg rasa bersalah... bayar je la... die tahu kan.. orang malas nak gduh sebab duit... x berbaloi!


kenapa reaksi kitaorang (aku - ngan kawan aku tu) x sama...

aku rasa bersalah - bayar je.. malas nak pikir bapa byk pon.. yang penting tu duit aku.. aku x nak libatkan mak aku...

dia rasa bersalah - izzah.. nanti i bayar separuh... i boleh bayar separuh je.. sebab its not my fault.. (padahal RM 50 je pun...)

AKU X PAHAM BETUL...
please let me rest...*sigh*


p/s: bagi aku nilai persahabatan kita lagi mahal... up to you what to say coz i know you are still my good friend.